‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all the markets were closed.
Dealers all snuggled up in their beds
No asset positions left exposed.
But soft in the distance, the bells rang out
And cherubs sang hale and hearty
Coz after another year of decision making
This was the night of the Central Bankers’ Christmas Party.
The biggest night for governors past and present
A break from all that rate hiking or cutting
After a year of constant communication
That’s 12 months of trying to say nothing
This was the night all central bankers longed for
Festive fun and craic without any limits
And perhaps the best thing of all
There would be no one publishing the minutes.
A night of music and food and dancing
No standing on ceremony or being aloof
Here’s Lagarde, Powell, Ueda and Bailey
And of course our very own Gabriel Makhlouf
Well the liquidity taps were fully on
And I don’t mean M1 or M2
There was Stella, Heineken Asahi and Watneys
Not to mention Carlsberg Special Brew.
There was the finest food from around the world
Every governor brought the best of their nation
As they all tucked in, the next issue was
A severe bout of gastric inflation
There were vol au vents, sliders and oysters
Trays so heavy the waiters would waddle
Smoked salmon, and pigs in blankets
Oh and somebody brought some coddle.
Christine brought sumptuous escargot
Ueda-san brought sushi and sole
Andrew Bailey felt a bit out of things
With his spotted dick and his toad in the hole.
Pernod, schnapps, sake and sangria
It was not a night for the squeamish
Jay Powell sophisticatedly sipping a martini
Makhlouf piling into the Beamish
Then the music started and the dancing followed
Guaranteed to ease any tension
All the governors out dancing to Simply Red
Singing “Money’s too tight to mention”
Now the dancing was getting to fever pitch
Madam Lagarde, like a ballerina, did float
While Philip Lane, now wearing his tie on his head
Was on the floor doing “Rock the Boat”
Andrew Bailey now swinging from the Chandelier
Unusual for a man of his standing
Then the chandelier broke and the governor flew off
Desperately hoping he’d get a soft-landing
Now they were all going on about their policies
And the innovative things they might do
Pretty soon all their yield curves were twisted
And most of the Governors too.
Soon it’ll be back to work at the desk
Back to forecasts and market calling
But perhaps, interest rates in 2024,
Like the snow, will be gently falling
Tradewinds 