It was the night before Christmas
And all the markets were closed
All the experts and analysts
Were safely home and hosed
No more forecasts for the year
Ni more unprecedented events
No more comments from Central Banks
And wondering what the Hell they meant
But all wasn’t peaceful and quiet
As the snow now began to fall hard
For oft in the distance, a disco light shone
It was the house of Christine Lagarde
“Free to say whatever I want”
She shouted out hale and hearty
“Forget your policies, rates and targets
It’s time for the Central Bankers Christmas Party!”
So the word went round to Governors all
No more speeches or blah, blah, blah
Just get yourself down to Christine’s house
And grab some ooh lah lah !
There was Yellen and Draghi and Carney
Governors, past and present, filing through the door
Alan Greenspan turned up with his punchbowl
Saying “I don’t really use this anymore”
Soon the governors were all mingling
Lagarde all stylish and sharp
Jerome Powell drinking trays of martinis
Philip Lane with a six pack of Harp
Formal protocol was soon abandoned
Even Kuroda was no longer aloof
Last seen standing one-legged on the bar
Doing shots with Gabriel Machlouf
Jay Powell, shirtless and swinging from the Chandelier
Shouting out “it’s just like an Irish Ceili!”
The UK governor replies at the top of his voice
“Does anyone fancy a Baileys?”
Some governors came in Pantomine dress
As usual there was Ben Bernanke
Who stole the show 3 year in a row
With his version of the Widow Twankey
Well the Liquidity was ample and flowing
“I think I’m drunk”, Kuroda blurted
You can forget all about your yield curves
It’s the governors who were now fully inverted
All the governors had brought food from home
And Christine says “This cooking’s a doddle.
We’ve French bread, British beef and noodles
But what the hell do I do with this Coddle?”
But the fun-filled night went on and on
Now it was really really quite late
The Central bankers were all exhausted
From lowering pints and raising rates
“Let’s call it a night” Christine declared
I think I’ve a meeting with Santa Clause
All the governors agreed and for 2023
Said maybe ….. we might just Pause.
Tradewinds 