Wall Street, Davos, Walmington-on-sea – all major financial centres. We checked in with the members of the local Home Guard platoon to get their views on the near-term outlook for global financial markets.
Captain Mainwaring Now look here men, I can’t tell you that it’s going to be easy. On the contrary it’s going to be tough. These markets are going to throw all they can at us. But looking at you, I see a crack investing force, and no amount of earnings revisions or economic downgrades is going to knock us off course. So stiffen the sinews, and our stiff upper lips and strong balance sheets will see us through whatever Adolf, or whoever the current global dictator is, throws at us.
Private Frazer Well now, my extremely balanced view on all of this is that…….WE’RE DOOMED! Doomed I tell ye. There’s nowt to be done. Yon central bankers are all out of weapons, conventional or no. We’re marooned, marooned in a sea of debt moving closer and closer to the rocks. Oh.. oooh.. there’ll be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth – unless of course I’m wrong.
Lance Corporal Jones The most important thing is not to panic. Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic! Let there be no panicing! It’s the data sir, the data d’ye see it’s all fuzzy wuzzy. But when there is a clearing of the data, and the data is clearer because of the clearing ,it’ll be time to fix bayonets, cold steel d’ye see, and advance. Permission to invest sir!
Private Pike My mum says that the best thing to do is to wrap up well and stay protected. Uncle Arthur says it’s all fine and no need for such stuff and nonsense. But my mum says that lashings of spotted dick, toad in the hole and a program of out of the money put options will see us right as rain.
Private Sponge
Private Walker Leave it to me. I know a couple of blokes…well I say blokes I mean highly regarded, well respected, global investment bankers…and they kind of owe me a favour, know what I mean. They can get all our – what do you call ‘em? Oh yeah debt to GDP ratios and change them (did it for Greece didn’t they) and then hey presto – problem solved. Bob’s your uncle. Billy’s your aunt and the job’s OXO. Failing that we can get a can, find a road, and kick………
Sergeant Wilson Oh Lord. Well now really…… this has all gone quite too far. I’m sure those lovely chaps at the central banks are really frightfully nice, and will play cricket and simply do the awfully nice things that we’ve come to expect. It really is the decent thing to do and then we can all just muddle through as usual.
Tradewinds 