‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the Central Bankers’ house
The governors were snuggled up and fast asleep
With no more interest rates left to announce
The up piped young Mark Carney
“This is all too quiet, I say
Let’s have a Central Bankers’ party
For tomorrow is Christmas Day!”
So they sent old Mario Draghi out
For wine, beer, puddings and cakes
And Mario set off and confidently replied
“I will get whatever it takes!”
Then Mark Carney shouts out
“Let’s do a Panto” to Ben Bernanke
“Cause I could play George Clooney
And you could be the Widow Twankey”
But look Mario’s back with hampers aplenty
And welcomed as a real Christmas hero
Says he “it’s amazing how much you can afford
When you keep your rates at zero”
Well now there’s dancing, kissing and hugging
Though in fairness a bit too blokey
But then Kuroda gets a better idea
“It’s time for Karaoke!”
But Kuroda won’t let go of the mike
And Powell wants to give it a shot
But after 23 verses of Sweet Home Alabama
He’s clearly lost the dot plot.
There were governors swinging from the chandelier
There were two on top of the Holly Tree
And quietly in the corner were Lane and Yellen
Discussing macro-prudential policy
But soon things just got out of hand
The authorities had to be alerted
For Jerome Powell after ample liquidity
Like his yield curve, he was now fully inverted.
Soon the Central Bankers’ house was quiet again
So the markets need not take fright
And the words of the governors rang around the world
“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
Tradewinds 